Showing posts with label hair. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hair. Show all posts

Sunday, January 3, 2010

Uncovering My Hair

I ditched my hair covering two weeks ago. Most people have noticed something different about me, but either they are too polite to say, "OMG your hair!" Or they really haven't noticed. I started wearing a head covering for religious reasons when we moved to Israel in 1998. We lived in a religious neighborhood and I had no misgivings about taking on the local custom. It took my husband some time to get used to looking at me with a hat or scarf, but it wasn't a tragedy. I liked the idea of downplaying physical beauty, of reining in my energy a bit (which can be pretty outrageous, I admit), of creating a barrier between my sexuality and men who are not my husband. The idea appealed to me. The look I got used to.
Now, a bit about my background. I'm not your typical religious woman. I didn't go to Stern College, didn't marry a YU guy, never lived in New York, or even the tri-state area. I was raised by a single mother of five children in rural Massachusetts. My mother, a close friend and classmate of Gloria Steinam raised us with a healthy disregard for rules (other than hers) and a huge poster which said "Fuck Housework" in the kitchen. No kidding, my sisters have confirmed this. Our home was traditionally Jewish and very spiritual, if not necessarily religious. My mother created her own religion, based on Jewish holidays, feminism, punctuality, doing the right thing and orthodontics for all.
I was always attracted to religion and to spiritual practices of every sort, from Buddhist meditation to Hindu burial parades. I came to Orthodoxy by being immersed in it, and I still respect and admire the solid ground of many Orthodox communities worldwide. But I no longer call myself Orthodox, though my lifestyle, other than the hair, has not changed.
What did change was how I was treated by some terribly misled men who have the gall to call themselves rabbis. Following a painful yet thankfully short-lived falling out with a close friend, these "rabbis" took it upon themselves to demonize me, threaten me and attempt to ruin me professionally. Well, I look askance at such behavior, as my mother's religion clearly dictates.
So I feel I have no choice. I need to distance myself in every way possible from this type of thinking and behavior. I can not tolerate the thought that someone could look at my manner of dress and assume things about the way I think. It has simply become unbearable. So, now when I walk down the street, an amazing thing happens; people look me in the eye. Ahh that feels good.